Rohit’s Ramblings

Archive for the ‘Limerick’ Category

Every person at some point in his childhood has been asked the question - “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Little Johnny in some stroke of inspiration decided that he wanted to be a doctor. With great pride he expressed this desire to his father. His father was glad. But Little Johnny was only slightly older than a toddler. His father asked him -

I’m glad to hear your ambitions, that you’ve aired,
However, it is necessary for you to be mentally prepared,
You must know that there are hazards in every occupation,
And when you’re holding a scalpel during an operation,
To cut open a person, wouldn’t you feel scared?

Kids can say the funniest things. Little Johnny was wiser beyond his years. He calmly responded…

Earlier too on these reasons, I did dwell,
Then I reached a conclusion - my plan I shouldn’t shelve,
My reasoning is really simple, forward and straight,
There isn’t really a reason for me to be afraid,
Cause it isn’t like I would be cutting myself!

Good point.

Buffer overflows - they are vulnerabilities sublime,
They’re easily overlooked most the time,
But when you go through sloppy code with a fine tooth comb,
With such ease you will uncover many a ticking time bomb,
And then it will dawn upon you… why “duffer” and “buffer” rhyme.

Recently, I was given a “Bravo Award” at work. Turns out that I have to pay tax on the award. What’s more interesting is that the award is based on peer recommendation - someone recommended me for the award.

The government went on a taxation spree,
It has decided that my award wasn’t tax-free.
But this excessive taxation, I do not fret,
To my repertoire, I shall add a new threat,
“Recommend you, for an award I will”, If you dare to cross swords with me.

A friend of a friend was born on the same date as her brother - but only three years earlier… Just had to write this.

With twins our little planet is replete,
I bet you can probably meet one on every other street!
But siblings having the same birth dates…
…with a three year intervening gap that separates,
I must say, what an amazing family planning feat!

Once a drunkard was strolling down the highway,
Totally sloshed - while walking, couldn’t help but sway,
Eventually, he collapsed on a zebra crossing,
Wildly his arms and legs he began tossing,
Screaming, “By hook or crook - I will play this piano today!!”

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I know its been long since I posted - busy at work. Will continue to remain busy for a few days.

A friend had a flat tyre today. He was planning to call for a mechanic to fix it for him - but I kinda managed to talk him into doing it himself. He hadn’t done it before, so I tagged along. Sure enough, we were up and running in no time. I was just thinking to myself -

A flat tyre - anywhere it may befall,
Hence fixing it is a little skill that should be known to all,
The knowledge can be a real life saver,
But it’s also about Dignity of Labour.
Just realize that no job is too big or too small.

Sure it will take a little manual effort,
But what do stand to lose, how will it hurt?
You only risk getting your clothes soiled,
At the end of it, you’ll be glad you toiled,
After all, was childhood the last time when you were covered with a little dirt?

You may be wondering - if you even need to try,
After all, any skill in this world money can buy,
It’s an essential skill, to be known by all men,
It serves more purpose than just impressing women,
It’s an must know, if you call yourself an on-wheels guy.

Reebok has launched a new line of shoes for women. They claim that you can sculpt your way to a beautiful bottom just by wearing these shoes. How cool is that?!?! 

Reminds me of those “Rockers” shoes we saw as kids - they supposedly had a rubber spring at the heel to make you jump higher. I had purchased a pair of those for myself. Did they help? Let’s just say that I wasn’t exactly reaching “new heights” in basketball. Similarly - no matter how fancy the stripes and swooshes on your tennis shoes looked - they never made anyone run any faster. 

That’s not to say that Reebok’s new offering won’t work -

Reebok seems to be having the notion,
Your bottom - a pair of shoes can flatten,
If you feel the claim is somewhat invalid,
For the first time, I feel that the guarantee is solid,
Cos if they don’t work, you can always kick yourself in the butt to make it happen. 

Her voice soothes me like a wound is soothed by balm,
In the most turbulent of times, she helped me keep my calm,
This I have never told her, never expressed.
Finally through the medium of limericks, with a freedom I’ve been blessed,
I should say, that lady is no other - she is my mom.

As a child her arms were a sea of tranquility,
Always safe - to be hurt was a remote possibility,
To return to my childhood, I feel I require
So that in her arms once again I could retire,
Her love was always an unconditionality.

As I grew up, life didn’t remain the same,
As I set out to reach the pinnacles I can attain,
Your guidance will always be my companion,
As always, it will always serve to enlighten,
My ultimate beacon of hope you will always remain.

A friend told me that his female friend from college was getting engaged to a guy from the same college. Only - In college they fooled everyone by portraying their real relationship as a real bro-sis thing, complete with the tying of a rakhi. This way they could hang out and stuff without any comments being passed. Smart. My friend also mentioned that the guy was somewhat shorter than the girl.

I was thinking -

In love they were both very much smitten,
They each knew they’d found the one,
But judging by the difference in their height,
They could’ve done better - their imagination was finite,
They could’ve even told people they were mother and son!

I once went to a club. Strobe lights and stuff. Music was so loud you couldn’t even hear a person standing next to you speak. So…

I walked up to a girl and asked “How about a dance?”
Sadly she told me that I didn’t stand a chance,
So, to leave that uncomfortable situation with grace,
And in a desperate attempt to save my face,
I shouted in her ear - “I SAID, YOU LOOK REALLY FAT IN THOSE PANTS”.