Rohit’s Ramblings

I wish to plunge into the tranquil oceans of your embrace,
It’s so profoundly pacifying that I wish I never surface.

As the soothing waters of the clasp of your arms wash away my worries,
The mellow moments set in, time slows down, and there are no hurries.

Closing my eyes, I sink to the bottom; unlike the outside, it’s a peaceful place,
I feel your love and affection pierce through the waters like warm sunrays.

And just as sun rays nourish life on this earth, your embrace… it nourishes my soul,
And so, to give you a hug, I’d gladly travel from pole to pole.

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Thanks to Nibhay Joshi for pointing out some grammatical errors.

It’s been long since you traded your passion for glory,
Even you are tired of your own story.

Your stories’ve lost sheen - they’ve all been told,
Dust’s settled on your laurels - they’ve all become old.

Without a raison d’etre you’ll always be at strife,
In your struggle, elusive will remain the meaning of life.

You will sorely miss the awe and beauty of creation,
The mastery of an art… the pleasure of appreciation.

Get up, get going, let the creative juices flow,
Apply yourself, be sure to be consumed while doing so.

The infinite power of your mind and body you must embrace,
Else you will remain marking time at your own place.

Evolution is the path to satisfaction and happiness.
Constant change is the only secret of success.

Every person at some point in his childhood has been asked the question - “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Little Johnny in some stroke of inspiration decided that he wanted to be a doctor. With great pride he expressed this desire to his father. His father was glad. But Little Johnny was only slightly older than a toddler. His father asked him -

I’m glad to hear your ambitions, that you’ve aired,
However, it is necessary for you to be mentally prepared,
You must know that there are hazards in every occupation,
And when you’re holding a scalpel during an operation,
To cut open a person, wouldn’t you feel scared?

Kids can say the funniest things. Little Johnny was wiser beyond his years. He calmly responded…

Earlier too on these reasons, I did dwell,
Then I reached a conclusion - my plan I shouldn’t shelve,
My reasoning is really simple, forward and straight,
There isn’t really a reason for me to be afraid,
Cause it isn’t like I would be cutting myself!

Good point.

A friend of mine sent roses to a girl for valentines - she picked them up 3 days after they were delivered. The roses had withered… he now consoles himself …

Made this long ago… was waiting for the right opportunity to post it.

Also, my friend Mayank Raheja asked me a long time ago to post a poem that he wrote. I think now is the right time for that too -

Come my India, come fly with me
as the economy rises and the uneasiness of the limitations goes away
i sit in the middle of the crowd
with my head held up high
within the constant chattering of hopeful souls
people just like you and me
with cryptic lives and curious minds
who analyse and interpret what the future has to offer
this new India of my dreams
where man meets the machine
i can see you rising above the clouds
of every sector man has found

so come my India come fly with me
towards my dream and my beautiful dream
Come my India, come fly with me

In agriculture we will see
man growing the very seeds
this will give us the India of tomorrow
a country without misery and sorrow

As for the Industries we will see
man and machine battling to see
who in the end will come out on top
to witness the fall of merry top

For finance and banking we can predict
the rations and income fit for a king
where every man of this country can see
a future of their very dreams

At last the pillar of society is
its service sector the mighty chit
where growth will happen for all to see
and better than the world could ever dream

so come my India come fly with me
towards my dream and my beautiful dream
Come my India, come fly with me

Mayank Narindra Raheja
(Love you always my India)

The latest edition of a magazine sporting a pic of Priyanka Chopra on the cover was lying on the dining table. Father and son were seated, sipping on their tea. The son picks up the magazine and comments…

Son: “Priyanka Chopra looks really different in this picture…”

Father: “How so?”

Son: “I don’t know… I can’t seem to put my finger on it.”

Father: “You mean the change is that subtle?”

Son: “No. I meant that it would be rude if I did.”

Really Dense Fog.

If Chetan Bhagat made porn, what would he name his titles ?

When you already give 30% of your salary to the government in the form of taxes - you are already working 4 out 12 months for the government. Add to that the newly introduced taxes on perks that suck away 1.5 - 2 months salary. That takes the total to 6 months. Half of your time in office, you work for the government. The remaining half, you work for yourself and your company.

Shouldn’t that entitle us to work like government employees half of the time? Can you imagine what an IT company would be like - if it operated like a bad public sector company?

Scrap email.

Have a form for everything - “Bug log karna hai? Yeh form bhariye. Kal tak kaam ho jayega.”. There are several advantages to having a form for everything. On days you are really bored, you can make all the forms disappear and say, “Aaj form khatam ho gaye madam. Kal aayega.”.

Better still, when you are REALLY REALLY bored - first make the forms disappear. Next, make bad photocopied versions of the forms and sell them outside the office for a profit.

Pay bribes.

To get work done. After all - kickbacks would be our only “real income”, right? Here is how a manager would get the latest performance data from an employee… or even hand us our next paycheque.

Send people in circles.

Manager wants an update on some bug? Ask her to go to Raviji’s office. Raviji would redirect the manager to Amirji. Amirji would redirect to Kirtiji. Kirtiji would redirect to Poonamji… Oh wait… Poonamji is on a vacation. Try again after 2 days.

Spend the entire revenue of the company.

That’s how governments operate. Unspent budget is a bad thing - you are doing a bad job of utilizing your resources properly, if any budget is left unspent. Go buy that pool table you always wanted for your team. Or better still - hire one “chela” to say “Jee Sahabji” to everything you say.
 
Make silly excuses.

“Code sync hone ko time lagega sir.”
“Abhi toh code compile ho raha hai sir. Do din mein aapko results mil jaenge… Mein bata raha hoon na sir.”
“Shaam ho gayi hai sir… Itne andhere mein forms kaise bharenge?”

Buffer overflows - they are vulnerabilities sublime,
They’re easily overlooked most the time,
But when you go through sloppy code with a fine tooth comb,
With such ease you will uncover many a ticking time bomb,
And then it will dawn upon you… why “duffer” and “buffer” rhyme.